Enright Forgiveness Process Model 

Enright Forgiveness Process Model 

 

PRELIMINARIES

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Who hurt you?
How deeply were you hurt?
On what specific incident will you focus?
What were the circumstances at the time? Was it morning or afternoon? Cloudy or sunny? What was said? How did you respond? 

 

PHASE I—UNCOVERING YOUR ANGER 

How have you avoided dealing with anger? Have you faced your anger?
Are you afraid to expose your shame or guilt? Has your anger affected your health? 

Have you been obsessed about the injury or the offender? Do you compare your situation with that of the offender? Has the injury caused a permanent change in your life? Has the injury changed your worldview?

 

PHASE 2—DECIDING TO FORGIVE 

Decide that what you have been doing hasn’t worked. Be willing to begin the forgiveness process.
Decide to forgive.

 

PHASE 3—WORKING ON FORGIVENESS 

Work toward understanding. Work toward compassion. Accept the pain.
Give the offender a gift. 

 

PHASE 4—DISCOVERY AND RELEASE FROM EMOTIONAL PRISON 

Discover the meaning of suffering. Discover your need for forgiveness. Discover that you are not alone. Discover the purpose of your life. Discover the freedom of forgiveness. (Enright, 2001) 

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Case Study Illustrating Forgiveness Processes

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“Harriet is a 25-year-old woman with acute emotional distress. Harriet’s mother frequently condemned her daughter for the slightest deviation from her unreasonably high standards. Harriet’s anger toward her mother eventually led to symptoms of anxiety and depression. In addition, she started showing such externalizing symptoms as excessive anger and frustration directed at family members. With her counselor’s help, Harriet came to understand how she was reacting to her own victimization by victimizing others. In counseling, she was able to see her parents see her parents as capable of both good and bad behaviors. Forgiving her parents allowed her to take greater responsibility for her own behavior; she did not have to belittle other. Forgiving her parents allowed Harriet to experience a greater self-acceptance and to establish meaningful friendships.”

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“Another case study is of Uri, an Israeli army officer in his 40s, who came to counseling because of an inability to establish positive relationships with women. Through forgiveness counseling, Uri realized how much unconscious and deep anger he had toward his father, who died when he was young, and his mother, whom he blamed for the family’s subsequent poverty, Uri realized that he had not yet matured, displacing his anger onto his relationships with women and showing regressive, rebellious behavior similar to behavior in his adolescence. Forgiving his father for dying allowed Uri to symbolically bury his father. Forgiving his mother for not providing a higher standard of living allowed him to leave behind the debilitating anxiety that had plagued him since childhood. As a result, the counselor observed Uri growing in courage and accepting responsibility. He married and was able to reestablish a loving relationship with his mother.”​